How To: Make Your Bed Like A Pro

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According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics 2014, the average Australian lives for 82.10 years. (Not a bad innings.) During this time, it’s recommended we sleep for 8 hours a night to promote emotional balance, concentration, creativity, and problem-solving (all good things).

Now I’m no mathematical genius, but that means that those of us surfing the crest of average will spend approximately 239,732 hours of our lives asleep.

Is it just me? That is seriously hectic!

Sheridan Abbotson

From left: Sheridan Abbotson Fitted Sheet, Sheridan Abbotson Quilted Bed Cover and Sheridan Abbotson Standard Pillow Case Set of 2, available online at Zanui.

Okay – sure – if you’re of Bon Jovi’s bent and you’re livin’ while you’re alive etc etc, then p’raps you’re subsisting on a lot less than this. But, just quietly, you’re risking an unhealthy relationship with aggression, anti-social behaviour, clumsiness, depression and other nasties. (Just saying.)

Here at Zanui, we’re of the opinion that sliding between freshly laundered sheets is one of life’s sweetest pleasures. Stands to reason that your bed linen deserves a little bit of attention.

A well-made bed is a little like a trifle. Trifles are deceptively easy to make, but they look fancy. Each layer adds its own unique contribution, while working in harmony with the whole.

The recipe for a seductive snooze goes a little something like this.

Sheridan bedlinen

From left: Sheridan Millennia Tailored Pillow Case, Sheridan Palais Standard Pillow Case Set of 2 and Sheridan Soft Sateen Sheet Set, available online at Zanui.

#1 Cover your mattress with a mattress protector

A quilted cover that lives under your sheets, a mattress protector shields your mattress against *undesirables*. Allergens, dust mites, mould/mildew, sweat (uh-huh!) and skin flakes (let’s not go there) pique the appetite of hungry little critters. (Okay – we went there but… Yep. Enough said.)

#2 Line up the corners and tuck in your fitted sheet

Pull it extra tight and smooth it down. Is this a good time to ask if your sheets have met the iron?

From left: Bambury Ivy Quilt Cover Set, Bambury Rhombus Quilt Cover Set and Florence Broadhurst The Cranes Quilt Cover Set – Linen, available online at Zanui.

#3 Place your flat sheet upside down on your bed

This way when you fold it over the pattern or finished edge is visible. The top of the sheet should line up with the top of your mattress with an equal overhang on each side.

#4 Add a thin blanket

Align the bottom of the blanket with the bottom of your flat sheet. Tuck the blanket and flat sheet into the bottom of the bed.

Aura by Tracie Ellis

From left: Aura by Tracie Ellis Big Spot Quilt Cover, Aura by Tracie Ellis Maison Quilt Cover and Aura by Tracie Ellis Wide Stripe Quilt Cover, available online at Zanui.

#5 Conquer the dark art of hospital corners

Pick up the long end of the sheet/blanket together and lay it on the bed at a 45 degree angle so that a large triangle is created. The sheet should be smooth around the corner. Now this is a little tricky so we’ve go Sgt Shane Medders to show us how to do this with army-precision here.

Tuck the bottom in between the mattress and base. Fold the triangle down again and tuck it neatly away.

#6 Fold down the top of the sheet about 12 inches

And tuck the sides in nice and tight for that divine secure feeling while you zzz.

From left: Aura by Tracie Ellis Gathered European Pillow Case, Bambury Harper Quilt Cover Set and Linen House Brasilia European Frill Pillow Case, available online at Zanui.

#7 Turn your doona cover inside out

Put your hands in your doona cover and hold opposite corners. Grab your doona/quilt through the cover and shake the cover down over the top. Fold it once and place it across the foot of your bed.

#8 Karate chop the pillow down its length to fluff it up

No joke. All the pros do this. Then fold each pillow in half and put it in your pillow case.

Sheridan bedlinen

From left: Sheridan Superfine Twill Sheet Set, Sheridan Talitha Quilt Cover Set and Sheridan Leander European Pillow Case, available online at Zanui.

#9 Arrange your pillows in a triangular formation

Start with Euro shams against your bedhead or wall: three for King, two for Queen-sized beds. These pillows are large and form the base of your triangle. Your sleeping pillows come next. Then the decorative pillows, slightly smaller. These can be used to add ornate accents to your home as well as hiding your fave comfy everyday pillow from view.

A small breakfast cushion, bed runner or a sumptuous throw finish the look.

Hello nocturnal deliciousness. 😉

Kay is a feature, blog and copywriter. She collects empty jam jars, academic degrees and tawdry dreams in the hopes of turning them into something useful someday. Her work has been published in ACP magazines, ABC fiction, Overland, Brittle Star, Seizure, trade publications and online forums. Her creative writing has won several awards.